|
|
Unbelievable
Twenty years ago, I was at the office and the phone rang. Bill Strietmann, may I help you? "Yes, Mr. Guckengberger (an attorney) has reccommended you to help. I am an attorney who is involved in a divorce preceeding, and my client owns several properties that I need a professional to look at and see what's going on. Frankly, he claims that he isn't getting any money from them, and that they are in fact costing him money each year." No problem, have him calll me to set up an appointment, and I will take a look. A couple days later, I met Frank(not his real name), and we went to his first property. A nice building in a working class neighborhood having about 2,000 SqFt. The main floor was wide open and stacked 8' high with over 1,000 old rusting bicycles and scrap metal. What is all this I asked? "I'm waiting for the price of metal to go to an all time high, and then I'm going to sell it". It would take six men a week to empty all the metal. And tens of dumpsters to haul it away. He could have been getting about $1,500 a month for the building if it was rented. The next place we stopped was an old fashioned gas station built into theside of a retaining wall. It had two car bays, and you guessed it, was also full of bicycles and scrap metal. Didn't need to ask what the plan was. Another $750 dollars lost each month. The fourth property was his home. And it probably ranked third or fourth in all time worst maintained properties I had ever seen. A $65,000 property now worth about $25,000....maybe. The final property we looked at was a two family he owned. "My girlfiend is living on the second floor for free", he volunteered. "And there isn't a floor on the first floor." What...., I thought to myself? As he opened the front door, sure enough, the was no floor. We stood looking at the basement through the floor joists. What's going on here, I asked. "I been meaning to get to this, but I've been busy for the last three or four years or so." Another $600 ($300x2) lost. A total of $2,550 lost each month. And this was in 1982. Each property was a wreck. Never maintained. What was a nice portfolio of property once worth $250,000 was now worth about $100,000, if he was lucky. Income of $1,850 per month was $0. I reported my findings to the attorney. He said that his client wasn't the smartest guy he had ever represented. I agreed. Unbelievable.  |
|
The party
Several year ago, I owned a six unit apartment building in Clifton that was rented primarily to students. One night at about two am the phone at home rang. Yes, yes, yes, I said, and hung up. My wife, having also been awakened asked me what was going on. I told her that I had to go to the apartment building. At 2am, why, she asked? The fraternity next to the apartment just called to complain about the party going on. Why are you going, she persisted? Because if a fraternity calls to complain, it must be one hell of a party, and I don’t want to miss it!!! The snakeI was selling a house that was rented by a rock-n-roll band. They asked me not to show the attic bedroom. "There is a large snake up there that we use for our act". OK, no problem. As we were previewing the property, we went up to the attic. I noticed that the off-limits room had a crack under the door that was about two inches high. I was concerned, and asked about the possibility of the snake getting out. One of the rockers said that I didn’t need to worry. "It's a very large boaconstricter, and it wouldn’t fit under the gap in the door. Trust me, I didn’t open that door. Ever. The phone call A couple of years ago, I was at the office and the phone rang. Strietmann Realty, may I help you? Can you fix my phone? This is the Strietmann Real Estate company, I said slowly. I am in my room, and this phone is not working. This is a real estate office, I said loudly. Who do you want? I can’t hear you, my phone is broken, and it needs to be fixed. This is Strietmann Real estate company, I yelled. I can’t hear you, can you speak any more loudly? I stood up and screamed at the top of my lungs…this is a real estate company, you must have dialed the wrong number. I shouted so loudly, that the accountant from across the hall came over to see what all the commotion was about. I can’t hear you, there is something wrong with me phone she again repeated. It was then that I realized that it must be one of the ederly occupants of the senior care center down the street. Our phone number was 271-0600, theirs was 272-0600. I shouted as loudly as I could, you have the wrong number, this is a real estate company. I am having problems with my phone. I then thought that if I could get her name, I would call the senior care facility. Who is this, I shouted. There was a pause, and then she asked, did I call you, or did you call me? You called me, I responded. I will be in my room, send someone up to fix my phone and she hung up. I stood there for a moment with the accountant smiling at me, and then sat down. I called the senior care center, and they said that it happens all the time. Maybe she just forgot to put in her hearing aid. She will call back, they assured me. Try to get her name…….
|
|
|
|
*
|